It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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