i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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