we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
