Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
