he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
