yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
