i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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