so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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