those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
