paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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