im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
