Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
