found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
