there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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