what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
