from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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