We won't sleep together?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
