3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
