Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
my liver is dry heaving
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
