I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
