ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
