What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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