no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
