She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
