after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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