Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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