i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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