I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
