My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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