At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
