So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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