I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
