funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
