if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
