Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
where are my eyebrows?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
