Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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