evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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