I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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