Umm I'm too high to move.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
