I love black thongs
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
