I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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