so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize