Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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