come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
