you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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