Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
