I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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