they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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