At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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