all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
