i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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