My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
