i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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