I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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