I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
