Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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