So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize