ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
