Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
