Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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