she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
