Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
